What is an Impact Letter? Will it Help My Addict?

What is an Impact Letter?

An impact letter is a letter where you share the impact of something on something else. In most cases, we use them during interventions to share how an addiction has impacted us. In other cases, we use impact letters to share what people mean to us, how they’ve impacted our lives, and that we hope they can be there for themselves as well. In each case, the impact letter is meant to inspire the person it’s written to into taking action, such as going to rehab or talking to a doctor, to considering that they need help, or even to simply feeling good about themselves.

Depending on the circumstance an impact letter can:

Share how the receiver’s substance abuse has negatively impacted the writer. This means you talk about the emotional toll that your loved one’s addiction has had on you. You might talk about how you’re worried about them, how they don’t light up when they see you anymore, how you’re stressed about taking care of responsibilities or children on your own, how you don’t know how to help them or reach them. Be honest and make it about their wellbeing and that impact on you. These kinds of letters are confrontation and may be extremely painful to write and to read. Your loved one may react with anger and denial. And, you should always make sure you give them this kind of letter in private where they can think about how to respond and can have the space to react badly at first. That’s especially true for addicts who are in denial and who don’t yet realize that they have a problem.

Sometimes impact letters are about people’s positive impacts on others. These kinds of letters can be extremely valuable in promoting people to get help because having family and loved ones present are powerful motivators in recovery. Here, you want to talk about what that person means to you, how they’ve impacted your life, how they make you smile or feel like the world can be a good place. You want to spend most of the letter sharing how that person is loved, valued, and valuable to you with a call to action at the end to get help.

In other cases, your impact letter is less about an intervention and more about providing ongoing motivation. Let’s say your loved one has gone to treatment and is doing well in recovery. You want to let them know how proud you are of them. You share what their recovery and their hard work means to you, that you’re proud of them, and how you feel about them now.

Each of these letters fits into a slightly different scenario if you’re sending it. All three are intended to motivate the receiver to be clean and sober.

When to Use an Impact Letter?

a woman writing an impact letter or intervention letter for her loved one with substance abuse

Impact letters are most commonly used as part of an intervention, but they don’t have to be. Instead, you can use impact letters as part of subtler but still powerful attempts to motivate your loved one to be clean and sober.

When you want your loved one to seek treatment. An impact letter shows your loved one what their addiction is doing to you, even if it’s “just” creating worry and stress about their wellbeing. It gives them something tangible to look at, re read, and think about long after they could have easily forgotten about or twisted words around. If you follow up with treatment brochures and try to sit down to talk about treatment options or even schedule a doctor’s appointment, even better.

When your loved one needs reminders of how you feel. Addicts are very good at forgetting about everything but the substance they are abusing. Writing an impact letter offers a powerful and emotional reminder that there are more things that matter and how you feel is one of those things.

When you want to tell your loved one how proud you are of their progress. Impact letters can be positive. You can tell them about all of the good things that have come out of them looking for treatment. You can tell them how much they mean to you. You can share how proud you are of them. That will help them to stay in recovery.

When your loved one needs to go back to treatment. Treatment isn’t always enough and relapse happens. If your loved one has relapsed, an impact letter can be the trigger to push them back into treatment.

When you’re trying to share why you want your loved one to get help. Saying things out loud means you don’t have time to sit and think or to choose the words you want. An impact letter gives you more time to think about what you want to say, so you can have more impact.

Is an Impact Letter or an Intervention a Better Idea?

Impact letters can be part of an intervention or an alternative. The question is, which is better? In most cases, the impact letter is a better choice. Why? Interventions are something you should save for a last resort when nothing else is working. When you really have to confront your loved one with everything that’s going on and you really must do so as a group. Impact letters can be delivered in private, giving your loved one the dignity of processing and going through things alone, to think about things, and to figure out what they want. They offer your loved one a choice and respect that they can make decisions for themselves.

An intervention might be necessary if no other efforts reach your loved one. For example, if they ignore your letter, don’t listen to talks, or don’t engage with you. Or, if they respond with anger to attempts to help. In that case, you need the final effort of a big and confrontational intervention. Otherwise, an impact letter is probably the kinder choice.

Impact letters are a valuable way to connect with your loved one, to let them know the impact they are having on you, and to share how you feel. It can make the difference between your loved one thinking they are alone in the world and realizing that they are part of a family and their loved ones actively suffer because of their disorder. And, that can help your loved one make the decision to go to treatment.

What is an Impact Letter? Will it Help My Addict?