How to Be Honest About My Addiction to Loved Ones

If you’re struggling with a substance use disorder, you’re not alone. Today, an estimated 48.7 million Americans qualify for a substance use disorder diagnosis. This means that one in five Americans has a close family member or loved one struggling with a substance use disorder or “addiction”. At the same time, family and loved ones are a critical part of getting support and moving forward into recovery. Family offers structure, support, motivation, and love. They can help life to feel meaningful, even when you’re struggling with mental health disorders and a substance use disorder.

Your family and loved ones are an important part of your recovery and of your life. It’s important that you be able to involve them – at whatever stage of recovery you’re in. Of course, not all of your loved ones will be supportive, not all of them will be understanding, and many of them may already know. The important thing is to prepare, be honest, and to know what you’re getting into. The following steps will help as you get ready to be honest with your loved ones.

Decide Who to Share To

Your loved ones might have a very good idea that you are struggling with substance abuse. They might have no idea at all. Preparing to talk to your loved ones means doing your research, figuring out what to share, when to share, and how to do so. The more your family are blindsided by the news, the harder things will be.

• Choose a trusted group – You might want to tell everyone at once, but chances are, you should start with a few people. Pick a few people you know will be on your side who can help you to share the news with everyone else. That might be your partner, your mom, your sister, etc. The important thing is that you have a trust bond, that they will pick your side, and that they will help you talk to the rest of the family.
• Pick your battles – Not everyone will respond well. Not everyone is going to support your journey to recovery. You don’t have to share with everyone right away. Don’t force things if you feel uncomfortable. Instead, get a good idea of who you are comfortable sharing with and plan to share with them. Of course, that might create more complexities like hiding things, which you probably don’t want to do.
• Plan what you’re sharing – People will have a lot of questions. If they’re blindsided by you having an addiction even more so. Figure out what people know and therefore what you have to share. Be ready to answer questions like what kind of drugs you’re using, why you were using them how long you were using, etc. You’ll also want to share about getting help, any attempts at rehab or plans for rehab you have, where you’re at in recovery if at all, etc. If you’re still struggling with a substance use disorder and haven’t gotten help yet, these questions will be harder to answer and you might not know what the next steps are, but you’ll still want to be able to voice that and share it.

It’s important to keep in mind that there’s a lot of misinformation and misunderstanding about what addiction is and how it works. If you’re not up for talking about that, consider bringing some basic pamphlets on addiction and substance use disorders or on the specific substance you’re using. Sometimes you can find these at your doctor’s office but more often they are available for free at local shelters and safe use areas.

Planning means deciding what to share, when to share it, and how much to share. If you’re not up for sharing more than you tell people, be honest and say that you might be up for that later. People don’t have a right to your energy and investment you aren’t ready to give, even if you love them.